A little while back I had an audition for company that is a giant in the fitness and nutrition industry. I walked into the waiting room and saw there were dozens of other fitness actors and models waiting their turn to audition. I was excited about the opportunity to audition for this company and I felt my chances were pretty good. I’m not the best actor in the world but I work really hard to stay in top shape and my fitness resume is pretty solid. I’ve worked with many of the biggest names and companies in the industry and am a regular in the largest fitness publications. Even against the couple hundred other guys trying for the same part I liked my odds.
Then I found out the casting wouldn’t be based on our skills, looks, or resume. Instead all casting wanted to see was our social media. All casting wanted to know was how many followers we had on Instagram. My odds went from solid to soiled. From good to garbage. My social media resume is basically the exact opposite of my fitness resume. It’s bad.
The “audition” was a real wake up call for me. And a real disappointment. I realized the Kardashians had won. The world had changed.
Social media
I was a late social media adopter. I’ve always had difficulty being a consistent member of the social media community. There are two main reasons for this. The first reason is that I’m naturally introverted. It’s work for me to connect with others, even on social media. It doesn’t come naturally and therefore takes a lot of energy.
The second reason is that social media feels very self-promotional and narcissistic. I have a friend who continually reminds me that if he had the stockpile of professional photos and material that I have from actual shoots with well-known photographers he would be a household name. Meanwhile it takes me ten minutes to talk myself into posting a picture of myself that was published in a magazine with a worldwide circulation.
Honestly, I was even hesitant to share my blog posts. I write them in an attempt to help people but then have to convince myself that it isn’t self-promoting to publish them. My writing has been published in numerous nationwide publications with millions of readers and I still have to talk myself into posting my blog on Facebook.
Instabrag
Before you chalk all of that up to my humility you should know something. The reason I started my blog is because I needed an outlet to promote my writing and, more specifically, my book. The reason I post on Instagram at all is because it’s necessary for me to do so in my business as an actor and model. So my intentions are not completely pure.
Social media has become the necessary evil of our time. As much as it goes against every fiber of my being, it’s the world I live in. It’s impossible to do my job without it. But I hate it. Every Instagram post feels like an instabrag, even when I don’t mean them to.
So how are we to navigate a narcissistic world of self-congratulation and still remain untainted? Honestly, I’m not sure. But here are two things I hope people keep in mind when they see my posts. I’ll try to do the same for yours.
Pardon
First of all I hope everyone out there understands my heart and the reason behind my posts. I post my children and family in an effort to promote good fathers, mostly because I feel I was given great examples in my life and I want to do my best to offer that to others. I post about adoption because I want to change the dialogue around foster children and encourage people to adopt. I post about fitness because I have seen it positively change so many people, both inside and out. I post my writing because I want to help people through my words. My goal is to be a positive influence in your life and the life of everyone who comes in contact with me on social media.
So if you see a shirtless picture of me floating around or get sick of seeing posts about my wonderful children, I know it’s annoying, but please pardon me, I’m trying to do it for the right reasons.
Promote
The second thing I think we should do is promote each other. Instagram makes us all focus on ourselves. Somehow a website based on posting things for others to see has made us turn our focus inward. It has made us selfish and hateful and jealous of each other. But we don’t have to be selfish. We can promote each other.
There is so much negativity and bad news on social media, it seems only fair that when we find each other to be encouraging and motivating we should promote that. Personally it means the world to me whenever someone shares one of my posts, reviews my book, or goes out of their way to promote me on social media. I can’t say how much I appreciate each like I get. To me it means I’m being a positive influence in someone’s life. I just hope I keep liking the likes for the right reasons.
Influence
If you were wondering if I booked that audition, I didn’t. They must have gone with an “influencer.” Turns out, I don’t qualify. That’s OK, because it did encourage me to be more relevant on social media than I was before.
Interestingly, not too long later I had another audition. Unfortunately I wasn’t able to make it because of prior family responsibilities. But you know what? They hired me anyway. You might be able to guess why. It was because they saw my Instagram posts about working out and enjoying time with my kids. Turns out they were looking for a fit dad and I fit the bill.
The line between influencer and entertainer is a little blurry right now. Which leads me to two questions: How does one earn influence? And what justifies one being influential? I’ve said this before and I will say it again: Most of us are too concerned about what we are doing and not concerned enough about what we are becoming by doing it. If posting endless selfies makes me a narcissistic, self-involved human, then that’s a problem. But I could also become those things while posting pictures of my lunch.
Let me put it another way. It isn’t the post that’s important, it’s the influence it has. It isn’t the content that counts, it’s the influencer. One of my goals in life is to leave everyone I come in contact with a little better than I found them. It’s a principal I’m working to apply to my social media as well. Bear with me as I learn how.
