I’ve been thinking about strength a little bit more this last week due to some events in my life. In doing so I realized there are lots of ways to determine if a person is strong. Guys often use the question “how much do you bench?” as a guideline to determine strength (tip: subtract %30 from whatever his answer is to find his true strength). This year a Chinese police officer set a world record by holding a plank for over eight hours (and I thought ten minutes was impressive). My mother had eight children (and raised all of them to adulthood). I even watched a girl buzzsaw her way out of a shark one time (that may have been a movie).
What seems strong to one person may seem like nothing to another. I know someone who can deadlift 500 pounds easily and I know someone else who has lost every best friend they have ever had to cancer. Both of these people are pretty strong.
Strength is an inside job. I write a lot in this blog about mental and physical strength. But there are many other types of strength. Some people have relational strength and do well in relation to others while others struggle to connect. Some people have emotional strength and are able to focus their emotional power while others spray emotions around like a scatter-gun. Spiritual strength is an often overlooked strength that is available to all but practiced by only a few. There are mental giants and there are physical giants.
So what makes a person strong? I’ve compiled a short list. It’s obviously not a complete list, but it gives us somewhere to start. Consider it a 5 question pop quiz to test your strength.
Here are 5 signs you might be a strong person:
1. You forgive
Forgiveness isn’t for wimps. It’s difficult to forgive.
Sometimes forgiveness comes along with the stigma that the person who forgives is too weak to get revenge. But the opposite is actually true. Only strong people are tough enough to let go of grudges. Offering forgiveness is like erasing a debt. And to forgive someone you must have enough strength in the bank to cover the debt yourself. Only strong people can do that.
Weak people hold on to hurts and grudges, but what they don’t understand is that holding on to grudges doesn’t give them strength, it only steals it.
2. You don’t believe everything you hear
People who are strong have the ability to take in other people’s opinions and weigh the veracity of them for themselves. They don’t believe everything people tell them. In fact, they don’t even believe everything they tell themselves (I talk a little more about that idea here and here). Strong people have the ability to differentiate between the voices they should listen to and the ones they shouldn’t.
Strong people aren’t tossed around by the harsh winds of public opinion.
3. You exercise
You knew exercise would make any list I write about being strong, so I’m sure this comes as no surprise. I have written repeatedly about the benefits of exercise on both mental and physical strength. (For example: here and here) So I won’t belabor the point; except to say that I firmly believe exercise makes you a stronger person in both body and mind. (And as a side effect also emotional strength, relational strength, etc…)
Your favorite form of exercise can be in the gym, in the pool, outdoors, or playing the sport of your choice. Your preferred method is not important; the important thing is that exercise makes you grow as a person.
4. You love/help/give even when it hurts
This world was created so that love is the strongest and greatest power there is. But by “love” I don’t mean the current idea the culture has of love. The world’s current idea of “love” is a love that demands respect, validation, and reciprocation.
True love is a love that gives even when it hurts and helps others even to its own detriment. This type of love gives without asking in return. It is a rare love. It is a strong love. Only strong people can love for the benefit of someone else without asking anything in return. Only strong people can give to the point of pain and then give more. Only strong people can love when it hurts to do so.
5. You are alive
Life is tough. Living takes strength. Give yourself some credit; you’ve made it this far. You’re a trooper.
You are trying your best. As a matter of fact, you’re reading a blog trying to learn something new and better yourself. You’re doing great. Cut yourself some slack.
You’ve been through a lot. But you’re still alive. That means you are already stronger than you think you are.
