There’s a song my dad used to sing to me when I was young. The song is an old school country song about a muscular guy who was “broad at the shoulder and narrow at the hip” named John. My dad wasn’t vocally talented but he liked to lower his voice like Jimmy Dean and sing along with him about the guy with the same name as his son.
Big Bad John
The tune is about a man called Big John who sacrifices his life to save a group of trapped coal-miners. My favorite part of the ballad talks about the moment when the mine is collapsing and Big John steps up to save the group of men:
Then came the day at the bottom of the mine
When a timber cracked and men started cryin’
Miners were prayin’ and hearts beat fast
And everybody thought that they’d breathed their last, ‘cept John
Through the dust and the smoke of this man-made hell
Walked a giant of a man that the miners knew well
Grabbed a saggin’ timber, gave out with a groan
And like a giant oak tree he just stood there alone, Big John
I always especially loved the last line: Like a giant oak tree he just stood there alone.
Titus was born
Recently my wife came across a song called Titus was born. The song is quite a bit more modern than the one my father used to sing to me about my name, and I inherited my father’s lack of singing talent, but it doesn’t stop me from singing to my son the way my father did to me.
Titus was born is a song about a dreamer “born under the eye of a storm” who travels the world like water and dreams about what he could do and be.
Here is my favorite line of the song:
And so, Titus would grow
Tall and strong as an oak
The line strikes a chord in my own soul. It harkens back to an idea my father planted in me years ago. The idea of being as tall and strong and steadfast as a giant oak tree.
Which leaves me with a couple of questions:
Did listening to my dad sing about a muscular guy named John cause me to grow up to be strong and muscular? No. Watching my dad workout and stay active did that.
Did listening to my dad sing about a guy who saved people make me the protective type? No. Watching my dad protect his family and seeing him look out for weaker people did that.
Did listening to my dad sing about a guy who sacrificed himself to save others cause me to believe in sacrifice? No. Watching my dad sacrifice for his family did that.
Did listening to my dad sing about a guy who had the strength to stand alone give me the strength to stand alone? No. Watching my dad stand alone despite the changing winds of morality did that.
Did Big John make me who I am? No. Watching my dad’s example did that.
Will hearing his dad (very poorly) sing a song that says, “Titus will grow tall and strong as an oak,” make my little Titus grow to be tall and strong? No. My daily example will do that.
I’m pretty sure that’s how you teach manhood. As a matter of fact, it’s probably how you teach anything. But not being afraid to sing off key to your son can’t hurt either. You never know, one day he might be burdening his own son’s ears with a similar tune.
