There are lots of different types of strength; among them are physical strength, spiritual strength, relational strength, and mental strength. I want to take a moment to focus on mental strength because I believe it can help you to be stronger in every other area. Without getting too scientific let me briefly break down a couple of ways to be mentally stronger. I promise the science won’t be too mentally painful.
Motivation
In sports psychology they talk about two types of motivation. There is intrinsic motivation and extrinsic motivation. Intrinsically motivated people are self-starters; they are motivated by something inside themselves. For example the feeling of accomplishment they get when they achieve a goal. Extrinsically motivated people are those who are motivated by external forces. An example of this would be someone who craves awards or trophies or recognition for their achievements.
Neither of these types of motivation are wrong. They are just different. And people are never fully one type or fully the other type. It’s more of a sliding scale where someone may be slightly intrinsically motivated and heavily extrinsically motivated, or vise-versa. The key is not being one or the other but in using the type that you are to get motivated.
Feedback
There are also two types of feedback. Negative feedback; which we have all gotten from a parent, coach, boss, or teacher at some point in our lives. And conversely there is positive feedback; we also all know what that is. Positive feedback can be intrinsic (you telling yourself “good job”) or extrinsic (someone else telling you “good job”).
Application
Ok, I hope I didn’t lose you. That is as scientific as we’ll get. Now for the application. Let’s talk about how to build your intrinsic motivation and positive feedback to go from being a weak person (either mentally or physically) to a stronger one.
As humans we are prone to tear each other down and we are quick to tear ourselves down. But as planned creations we were built to respond to positive feedback. Although many people think they do, very few people actually respond well to negative feedback. People respond far better to encouragement and positive voices than they do to negativity and criticism.
Unfortunately you and I cannot do anything about the voices around us other than to try to surround ourselves with good influences and encouraging people. However, we can do something about how we motivate ourselves (intrinsic motivation) and what kind of feedback we give ourselves.
Motivation and feedback are like building a snowman. You start with a small ball of snow and you try to roll it along down a slope to make it bigger. It’s hard to roll and it’s so small that you can’t get it going well. But as you roll the ball it gathers more and more snow and the weight of the once small snowball now helps you with the work. The momentum of the snow going downhill gathers more snow for you.
Self-motivation is the same. At first it is hard to overcome old habits and it’s hard to focus on the one good thing you are doing instead of the several detrimental things you do. But after a while it gets easier. The more you focus on the good steps you are taking the more you notice the good steps getting easier. Like a snowball downhill.
It doesn’t matter if you are talking about habits or health or fitness the concept is the same. If you constantly focus on the negative your body will tilt that way. But if you constantly focus on the positive your life and body will tilt that direction. Your body runs off of what you give it to eat. The same is true with motivation, your body and mind feed off of what you give them to work with.
That doesn’t mean you don’t sometimes correct yourself. Or that at times you realize something in your life isn’t right and needs changed. Actually it means that you acknowledge the issue and then give yourself positive footing in order to change the problem. It means you focus on giving yourself positive feedback for the positive choices you have made. No matter how small they may seem at first. Sometimes it means you cut yourself a break (and while you are at it, those around you as well). It means encouraging yourself.
Since we started by hitting you with some psychology to begin, let’s end by breaking it down in the most unscientific way possible. How do you go from weakness to strength? Just pick one small good choice to make and then encourage yourself for completing it. Then repeat.
